Answered Prayer

Around my birthday, October 8th, in the year 2004, I was driving down the long Interstate 80 from Laramie, Wy to Arnold, Ne. It was a beautiful night, a sky so full of stars a person could not help but notice them. As my gaze drifted upward...so did my prayers. "Lord, do you know how I long to be a mom?" My prayers continued as I explored the somewhat "hopeless" situation. I knew there was a certain chain of events that needed to take place in order for that prayer to be answered and nothing seemed to be putting those chain of events into motion. I wondered if my prayer would forever leave me wanting. As I contemplated these things, my longings, my prayers and the stars, I could not help but think of the story with Abraham being told his descendants would outnumber the stars in the sky. An elderly, childless Abraham surely was tempted even more so than I to fall prey to doubt.

An exit sign interrupted my thoughts. Time to cancel the cruise control and get on with life...

A couple weeks after that I sat across from a cousin of mine, listening to her tell the story of their fostering and eventually adopting several children. I was enthralled with the story and listened intently to each detail spoken through both tears and laughter of a mother's heart that had been both broken and blessed through the process. I was so intrigued. If only I were married...

Another couple weeks went by and I told my sister about my time with our cousin. She told me how she had just been talking to someone who told her single women often could afford more time, emotional energy and attention for fostering children. I listened to the things she said with a stirring in my heart.

Finally, around the first part of December, I was thumbing through the Arnold Sentinel, a fascinating piece of literature I rarely take the time to enjoy. On this particular occasion, I happened to notice the classifieds which included this ad: Foster Parents in Arnold, Ne, desperately needed. I had never seen this ad before this day nor have I seen it since.

"Ok, God, I will look into it." I said. And indeed, I did...eventually.

Very close to that same time, a 16 year old girl, growing up in another world with no connection to mine, became pregnant. In 2005 she had a son. She married the father to her son and 18 months later, in 2007, she had another son. Soon after, she divorced her first husband, realized she was again pregnant and married the father of that child. In 2008, not long after her second marriage began, 19 months after her second son was born, she had a beautiful baby girl with lots of special medical needs. The girl, her husband, and three children moved to Nebraska when the little girl was almost 6 months old. Within two weeks of moving, HHS removed the children from their parents home. They began calling prospective foster homes for placement...and I was on that list.

So on March 24th, 2009, I walked into the Great Plains Regional Hospital and met for the first time a beautiful little red headed answer to prayer who is at this very moment, one year later, hollering at me in the back ground. "Mom! Mom!"

I thank God for HIS faithfulness..HIS willingness to set forth a chain of events while I was still wondering if HE even heard me.

Destined...

to be protected...

Psalm 3:3
"But Thou, O Lord, art a shield about me..."

Destined...

to be delighted in...

Isaiah 62:4

No longer will they call you Deserted,
or name your land Desolate.
But you will be called Hephzibah,
and your land Beulah;
for the LORD will take delight in you,

Who at my door is standing,
Patiently drawing near,
Entrance within demanding?
Whose is the voice I hear?

Sweetly the tones are falling;
“Open the door for Me!
If thou wilt heed My calling,
I will abide with thee.”

Lonely without He’s staying;
Lonely within am I;
While I am still delaying,
Will He not pass me by?

All through the dark hours dreary,
Knocking again is He;
Jesus, art Thou not weary,
Waiting so long for me?

Door of my heart, I hasten!
Thee will I open wide.
Though He rebuke and chasten,

He shall with me abide.

Sweetly the tones are falling;
“Open the door for Me!
If thou wilt heed My calling,
I will abide with thee.”

In This Moment

Yesterday seems so long ago
There's so many things by now I thought I'd know
There's so many dreams I thought would have come true
Still I know my only hopes in YOU, yeah
Still I know my only hopes in YOU

Tomorrow morning I might wake to find
That I lost all the treasures I thought once were mine
As I stand there all alone I'll know its true, LORD
The things I seek I only find in YOU, yeah
The things I seek I only find in YOU

But in this moment I'll just lift my hands

LORD, I come to YOU empty yet YOU understand

That I have to live each moment by YOUR grace
And I cling to the hope I have right here today, yeah
I cling to the hope I have right here today

And someday I'll hear that trumpet sound
And I know my feet are going to leave the ground
As I leave it all behind in final death, LORD
Whispering hope will be on my last breath, yeah
Whispering hope will be on my last breath

Mardel Connell 2007

Deuteronomy 11:15

"...you will eat and be satisfied."

My future

My future's so bright...I gotta wear shades

Jeremiah 29:11

Grow

Read your Bible

Pray every day

And you'll grow...

grow...

grow!

Family

"God places the lonely in families..."
Psalm 68:6

Robbi with a "few" of her cousins

Stepping Stones

I heard HIM softly, but ever so gently, call my name.
Helplessly I stood and stared across the endless gap between myself and GOD.
Why had I not noticed before the distance?
My heart longed for the feel of HIS arms wrapped around me.
That same feeling that I had felt before in memory past.

I stretched with all my might trying to reach HIS welcoming arms.
Just when it seemed I might be able to grasp HIS hand, my arms became too tired.
"I cannot reach!" I yelled, frustrated and alone.

HE only whispered my name.

With a surge of hope, I gathered my courage.
"I shall jump across!" I said, as if to ease HIS mind.
I backed up and set my mind on scaling this hurdle.
I began to run, with each step my confidence rising.
But the long arms of past failures tripped me.

I was still forever away from GOD.

My racking sobs filled the air. "Why?" I screamed
My anger at my own failure to bridge the gap turned to anger towards GOD.
"What do you expect of me? What am I suppose to do? I cannot make it!"
Soon tears of anger turned to tears of sorrow and pain and eventually to those from a broken spirit.

I heard HIM call my name again, even softer this time.
With all my strength left, I lifted my weary head.
Then I saw them; stones across the gap.

Slowly I got up and began to walk, then to run and in the end it seemed as though I flew into the arms of GOD.
I was back where I belonged. Contentment at last.

I lifted my eyes to GOD and asked how I ever made it across the gap.
HE turned me around and I looked back at the path that had taken me to HIM.
What had first appeared to be stones now became people I knew.
People who God had placed into my life for the specific purpose of leading me to HIM.

Stepping Stones.

Tears once again filled my eyes but this time of love and wonder.
I began to say 'thank you' to each person when God stopped me.
"This is not the way they want to be thanked. I'll show you how."
Bewildered I followed HIS pointing fingers until I spotted someone on the other side of the gap.
Like me they were wasting their energy on futile efforts to reach GOD

"I understand now." I said.
Then I waited for the breaking of the angry spirit across the way so that I could become...

A Stepping Stone
Mardel Connell 1995